a while ago I found myself struggling with the idea of being perfect in life, or in another word being in a perfect life. Simply making sure things are moving right on the plan, to prevent anything bad from happening, and that was creating this feeling of anxiety in me that I’m not in control.
It started years ago with a traumatic incident, once I’ve gotten through it, I thought I am free & Its over. soon I found myself struggling with an strange fear, the fear of it happening to me again. in every step I take & every decision I make, I was afraid of something bad happening.
I was too consumed with the anxiety of being out of control that I experienced 1 or 2 panic attacks. The anxiety gets more intense on the same time of the year that I had that incident. Anniversary effect they call it, I know right.
I soon found out that this anxiety was getting stronger living among the outside world. It was not really interfering on how I could interact with the people I knew, but to see the nasty things people do to each other, whether its something that I witness with my own eye, or something that I watch in News or even a TV Show, or even hearing a Tragic story from someone in a group was making me feel deeply disturbed.
Continue reading “forgive yourself today”